| pervert |
[01 Jul 2009|12:00pm] |
[![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) godfrei put this together for me. Thought I'd share it.]
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| stormy weather |
[29 Jun 2009|10:30pm] |
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( +10 )
Just messing around with the upcoming Olympus EP-1 (or 'Pen'). I kind of really want one. The last thing I need to be doing is spending money, though. Eep.
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| snails continued |
[29 Jun 2009|10:25pm] |
( +1 )
Snails are really cute. But why am I afraid to touch them?
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| kitten attack |
[08 Jun 2009|12:29am] |
( +3 )
I do not support breeding.
That said, these cats were still really, really adorable. And kind of sad.
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| kitty in the middle |
[01 Jun 2009|06:43pm] |
My vet called me about an hour ago and told me that there is a FIV/FeLV Siamese cat who is about to be put down at the cat hospital I go to. Apparently you just look at him (I think she said it's male) and he purrs.
I am worried Thompson and him will not get along (I did get a second [female] cat a year or two ago and wound up returning her the second day since I could not handle Thompson's adverse reaction).
But I've always wanted a Siamese cat (which probably would never happen otherwise, since I don't support breeding of animals), and if I ever felt set on a second cat it would be at this risk of their health (whereas this cat has the same conditions as Thompson).
I am going to take a look at this cat on Thursday, go in the morning with Amanda and check him out, and then probably again in the afternoon with David (who's in town for an interview). I'll see what his personality is like, and how his general health is...
What do I do? I'm incredibly anxious about this. =(
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[04 Mar 2009|06:37pm] |
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music |
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blonde redhead |
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1.
I feel sorry for those (the few) who are close to me. Nothing is adequate enough when I'm in that state of mind -- everything boils down to meaninglessness. And because of this, I am entirely unable to comfort those in similar situations. I see no point in lying to both that person and myself.
2.
I haven't had 'butterflies' or felt truly connected to anyone new in over a year, romantically or otherwise... which I consider a considerable amount of time. I feel very disconnected.
3.
The premise/format of Bukowski's novel "Women" has been on my mind lately, and it almost inspires to me to do something similar... that is, compile excerpts of my own relationship experiences. I'm nowhere near the writer he is (well, obviously), of course, and I fear that it would turn into something 'Sex and the City'-ish. I do feel that I have amusing stories and anecdotes, mind you... but I'm not sure how they would translate in text. This will likely remain a notion.
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| kitty in the middle |
[21 Oct 2008|10:20pm] |
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These past three weeks (almost) off work haven't been nearly as productive as I'd hoped... which I guess is exactly what I expected.
I haven't made any progress at all in the way of deciding on a career path -- I'm still as clueless as ever.
I have realized, though, that I tend to overdose on food and sleep as a means of comfort and escapism. In that regard, I'm actually kind of looking forward to getting back to a more productive, full routine, which will make it easier to not do such things.
I've done some major organization and cleaning in the past couple of days (my last attempt at productivity for this break), and earlier today I came across this little memories box I have. It hurts that the most memorable things in there -- notes and cards and what-have-you -- are from people who once meant a lot to me but are no longer in my life. Drawing on old emotions and nostalgia, as always.
Thompson is, I have come to realize, absolutely the most perfect cat anyone could ask for. I fall in love with him more every day, and feel constantly guilty that I don't have the time to give him the attention he deserves.
But no matter how great he is, he's still a cat, and can't exactly fill the void I'm trying to fill: human contact.
Another thing I've realized of late is that... maybe I'm not such a good person. I've always been pretty comfortable with my personality, but now I'm not so sure. I feel like a waster and a bitch. It's not the greatest feeling in the world, to be either of those things.
p.s. Disregard some of the things in my last (friends only) entry. Definitely single.
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| when you gonna flower? |
[27 Sep 2008|09:41pm] |
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music |
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hawksley workman |
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[in a few minutes, I will hate and delete that picture. more than likely.]
Pulling things together is so much easier said than done. I don't know why it is that I subject myself to this... long, lazy days that are so quickly slept away (it sounds nice, but it's not).
I have 2 weeks and 5 days off of work (paid!) starting next Friday... and I told myself I'd get things like cleaning up my apartment (always seems to need doing) done before that, so I can make sure the break is both enjoyable and productive.
I'm going to write a few lists. A list of what I want to do each day, every day, up until when the break begins. A list of people I need to see and catch up with during that break, as well as a list of things to do both with and without them, during the time off. Maybe writing things down will make them seem more concrete, more urgent.
Probably not for the last time: I need to get my shit together.
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| so hard for me to just embrace the lens |
[14 Jul 2008|11:05pm] |
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music |
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the bird and the bee |
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It's the fact that it mars two of the best moments of my life.
One. Sitting there atop a picnic table, in the middle of the woods, overlooking (what looked to me like) a sea of leaves. The weather was more perfect than it ever was or will be again.
Two. Drinking alcohol, smoking weed, riding bikes and playing that game by the river. One of those memories you drag out as long as you possibly can... or at least until you have to pee. Which I needed to.
What I didn't realize was how replaceable the people (specifically, me) in those scenarios can become.
And, that aside, I wish I had more time. I've actually been enjoying the feeling of exercising on a daily basis, but... sometimes there just isn't enough time in a day. Working full time and being exhausted day in and day out... this is what it feels like, I guess. To grow up.
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| key in ignition |
[09 Jul 2008|05:57pm] |
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I just took Thompson for his appointment at the cat hospital.
The vet decided not to take him in tonight for teeth extractions, because she was too concerned about how it might affect his health, given his FeLV (and, apparently, also FIV). She did some bloodwork -- $200 worth, not that there's really a limit to the amount I would spend on Thompson -- and she said she'll call me tomorrow with her opinion on whether we should go ahead with the extractions (next week) or not.
Of course, I cried for most of the appointment... I have no control over it. If something were to happen to Thompson, I would want to kill myself.
Sigh.
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| they glow as they near |
[03 Jul 2008|09:13pm] |
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music |
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the dismemberment plan - the jitters |
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( + )
I had a sudden and intense migraine this morning while at work. I've never had one before, and I even had a visual aura beforehand (yeah, I've been doing my research on wikipedia) -- light in general was just fucking with me, making me feel dizzy and confused more than anything else. And then the intense head pain and nausea came -- combined, it felt like a black cloud was over my head and I just couldn't think. I found it really upsetting, because I'd always considered myself lucky to not be the headache type... and I don't want my body to make a habit of this.
In other news, I'm taking Thompson to the vet mid-next week for some teeth extractions. I should have done this back in March, but I was too concerned about the outcome (infections in mouth, changes in personality due to trauma) to make a move. The other day it came to my mind, and I forced myself to have a look at his teeth now -- and it's clear that areas of his gum are bloody and infected. I hope that by leaving it this long, I haven't caused too much trouble. It's going to be expensive, and completely drain my savings, but... my main concern is his well-being. I just don't want it to affect him in the long-run. Sigh. (I think I need him more than he needs me.)
And, to keep this streak of negativity rolling... I think I'll be sending in my camera for sensor repair/cleaning. There are some definitely unhealthy-looking streaks going on in one corner of all my images. Guh.
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| all manner of joy |
[01 Jul 2008|10:01pm] |
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music |
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placebo - meds |
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Hovering over this little guy this afternoon reminded me of the squirrel scene in Disney's Sword in the Stone. I used to love that movie.
He was eating Reese's peanut butter cups, by the way. How fitting (and cute) is that?
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